Gal 5.1-12 – Beware the wang-obsessed religion-Nazis

(5.1) Why did Master Jesus smash the walls that divide us?  To set us free from isolation, free for community!  So GROW YOURSELF A SPINE and don’t back down to those that want to stick you back in your cell!

2) PLEASE listen to me: Wang surgery is no substitute for Jesus.  If you’re expecting to receive his gift through surgery, you will be sorely disappointed (Heh, heh . . . Get it?)  (3) I’ll say it one more time: This extremely painful surgical procedure is JUST ONE PART of the whole Torah arrangement.  If you wanted to impress Papa with your rule-keeping skills, you’d have to keep ALL of them flawlessly.  And we all know you can’t and you don’t.  (4) Those of you who rely on Torah observance to make you right with Papa, you have stopped relying on Jesus.  You have judged his grace unnecessary, and you are sorely mistaken!

5) For it is by grace that we are given Jesus’ right relationship with Papa. It is only through the Holy Spirit that we believe this, and live in the secure hope that this gift will find full expression in our life together. (6) In this context, the context of Master Jesus and what he has done for us, wang surgery isn’t even an issue.  The only thing that matters is loving God and loving others, which happens ONLY as we become willing to see reality accurately.

(7) You guys were doing great! you were seeing reality accurately and living in accordance with it.  Who talked you into shutting your eyes? (8) Whoever it was, it was not the One you Know in your soul. (9) One bad apple ruins the whole bunch. (10) It’s true, and you know it. But whoever the bad apple is, there are consequences for fogging the brains of Papa’s children. (11) Come ON, guys, THINK! Why would I start preaching a ‘gospel’ of wang surgery? And even if I did, do you think I would still be getting attacked every day by the wang-obsessed religion-Nazis?  If I preached their ‘gospel,’ they would have no reason to be scandalized by the cross. (12) Since their so obsessed with genitals, I wish they would just chop off their own and leave you guys the hell alone!

Comments

  1. Mark H. Hendricks says:

    Scripture teaches us to avoid coarse or crude language. Referencing circumcision would have accomplished the same thing. We don’t need to use this kind of language in order to communicate with the common man.

    If this were a one time thing it might be over looked, or even excused. When it becomes a pattern, it is just plain sensationalism.

    1. shackbible says:

      I’m sorry if I’ve offended you Mark. Please know it wasn’t my intent to do so, and I hope I haven’t damaged our budding friendship. There’s a line between earthy and crude, and different people draw that line differently. I’m attempting to use everyday English to describe the actual issue in Galatia, which we must admit was a pretty crude issue. But if what I’m doing here isn’t your cup of tea, I understand. Regardless, thanks for the honest feedback.

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